Chances

"I finally came around. I'm back on solid ground, can't let it get me down."

In the past, I've taken too many chances. Chances equals risks, and so I've risked my heart, my time, and my emotions on many things. I've taken so many risks with decisions I've been making that now I don't even know what's right and wrong anymore. I go with what my instincts tell me, but lately my instincts have been telling me wrong. I've been trying to do that whole "live for the moment" type stuff, but that's been getting me into nothing but trouble, confusion, and stress. I know I know I know, after going through all those risk-taking experiences and taking chances on people who I don't have enough knowledge about and getting hurt in the end, I'd say that I'm going to quit taking chances on things and people...

...Until another one comes along. I guess it's a little different this time because I've been through it with *him before, in a way. I know how it is to be with him (not physically, but mentally & emotionally). I'm almost too scared to even take another step with *him because of how things ended up last time, but I understand how and why that happened. I believe it was my fault, because thinking back on it, you did what you could do and you did what was right for you. Everything happens for a reason, though, and even though we strayed away from each other for a while, look where we ended up right back again? With each other. Well, not literally, although I wish it was so. I've learned to let fate happen as it pleases, chill & let it be. I love to hear from you, but should I let you be the one to hit me up on your own time? Sometimes I tell myself I won't call or text, but I can't help but do that - it's my only way to you and for you to know how I feel.

See, that's another thing. I wish I could hide my emotions well, but I can't. If I'm feeling one way or another, I have to let it be known. Well, it's not the fact that I have to let it be known, I just don't know how to hide my feelings very well. It's a habit for me to display my emotions, so get used to the fact that I'm going to tell you how I feel from now on. There's another risk that I take.

If all else fails ... if things end up the way they did before, or if things go another direction - (who knows?) ... I'm still going to be here. It will just be another lesson learned.

Here's to taking a chance on you. & here it begins...